The most bangin' fanfic ever written by me!
by chewbecky
Summary: OMG its him! Becky, Oh my friggin' gawd, its really him! Just a random fanfic with more chapters to come. hopefuly
1. Default Chapter

Chewbecky: Mwahahahahahaha!!!  I'm back, oh yes….I'M BACK!*cackles and starts to shake as drool slides down her face*

Kakashi: Ummm…Yo!  I guess this state of unexplainable behavior can only be explained as the result of not getting any sleep for about a week due to working double shifts at work three days in a row.

Chewbecky: *panting b/c of minute long cackling*  Why..in the world. did you.  just try to explain something. that you just said was unexplainable?

Kakashi:*winks* I'm a jounin.

Chewbecky:*arches an eyebrow* I hope you're going to elaborate on that….

Kakashi: *pulls out Icha Icha Paradise* Jounins are special people.

Chewbecky: *shrugs* So what!? It sill doesn't explain your explanation of an unexplainable action.

Kakashi: *still reading* _in a far away voice _I have silver hair…

Chewbecky: *sweat drop* _mumbles_ I can see why _you're_ special….On that note, I just wanna say that this fic is WAY outta control.  AND, all the characters are OOC!

Disclaimer:  IF I just so happened to own Naruto, which I don't; but IF I did, I would be rollin' on twenty's right about now…Masashi Kishimoto….such a great man…*sobs in corner*

At the Hokage's Office

            "Alright, do you want to tell us what happened?" Tsunade sama asked the foreigner.

            "I plead the fifth…"

            "The fifth what?"

            "The fifth amendment, that's what!" the foreigner just about screamed.

            "Umm, there are no amendments in Konoha…" Tsunade explained slowly.

            "What!?  What kind of world are you people living in!? Pshht, no amendments…" the foreigner commented in an obvious state of shock.

            "Okay, how about you Sasuke kun?  Would you like to explain what happened?" a frustrated Tsunade turned to her left and faced Sasuke.

            "Oh, yeah…I'll tell you what happened!" Sasuke said through clenched teeth while death glaring the foreigner. "That…that stupid @$$ motha-@$#%*&^ crazy ^$*(%$"

            "Oh, Hell no!" the foreigner cut in jumping out of her seat, "He is lying, LYING I tell you!!"

            Tsunade sweat dropped, and took a swig of sake.  "Do you want another chance to explain what happened then?"

            The foreigner sat back down in her chair, and arched an eyebrow in thought.  She sat all the way back and stared at the ceiling.  Meanwhile, Sasuke sat on the left hand side of Tsunade with a black eye and busted lip which were complimented with cuts all over his body, all the while sending death glares to the foreigner who wasn't even looking at him.

            Sakura busts through the door, "Sasuke kun!" She gasps when she sees the state he's in, and nearly faints.  In bounces Naruto, and Kakashi saunters in behind him.

            "Sasuke, you got your ass whooped by…by…a GIRL!!!?" Naruto said while pointing at him in disbelief.

            "…ah…" Sasuke mumbled while averting his glare o' death at Naruto.

            "Scandalous…" Kakashi murmured while eyeing the foreigner up and down.

            "Look, it would have never happened if he had kept his hands to himself!" the foreigner said while crossing her legs and snaking her neck around.

            "So you're ready to talk now…?" Tsunade questioned the girl.

            "I suppose so…"the girl began, "but please don't send me to jail.  I'm too pretty for those rough females to be all up on me…"

            "No one is going anywhere, I just want to know what happened" Tsunade said soothingly, trying to calm the foreigner down.  "Why don't you just start by telling us who you are, and how you got here"

            "Okay…" the girl started, while getting comfortable in her seat.  Kakashi, who was holding a fainted Sakura, pulled up a seat and Naruto did the same.

            "My name is Ayana, I'm nineteen and from Virginia Beach, Virginia.  Just this morning, my day started out like it normally did…"

            ~~~~**flashback**~~~~

            "Ayana!!!  Get yo black ass up, or you'll be late for school!" a woman in her early fifty's yelled down the hall.

            "I'm up!!" I hollered as I rolled out of the bed.  I stand up and look at the mirror, which has several pictures taped around the edges. "Orlando, don't look at me like that…It's early and I know I'm lookin' a crazy mess…"

(A/N:  for those who don't know, that's Orlando, as in Orlando Bloom! You know, the hot guy who plays Legolas in Lord of the Rings!?)

            I stumble down the hall to the bathroom, "Ah , lets see…It's 8:45 am and class starts at 10:00 am…Plenty of time for a nice shower.." I say to myself as I begin to twist the knobs on the faucet. * lets skip ahead to around breakfast time*  I am scarfing down some cinnamon life cereal like there is no tomorrow, "Mmmm…gargh…grrrgghh mmrrr..chomp, chomp, chomp."  I look up at the clock, "Shoot! Half an hour to get to class!"  I scream while milk drabbles down my chin.  I wipe it off, grab my book bag and keys and head for the door.

            "Bye, Ma!"  I scream to my mama as I head to my car, which just happens to be a 88' Honda Civic.  And let me tell you, it **LOOKS** like a 88' Civic.  "Damn, I wish MTV would 'pimp my ride'…" I mumble to myself as I start up the car.  I put in the best CD of all times…**MICHAEL JACKSON** *cough, when he was still black, cough, cough*

            "You know I'm BAD!! I'M BAD!! YOU KNOW IT, YOU KNOW…!!!" I sing at the top of my lungs while backing out of the drive way and successfully waking all of my neighbors.  I dance the best I can while sitting down and steering.  The sun is shining bright, and the signs of spring are showing.  I'm in a pretty good mood, until a damn stupid squirrel decides he wants to walk on the wild side.

            "I will run yo' walnut-eatin'-ass over in a heart beat if you don't get the hell up out my way!!"

            The rest of the ride is smooth sailing.  I arrive at the parking lot of the community college (that will remain anonymous).  It is now around quarter till ten, and I grab my book-bag and proceed to class.  I'm walking on my merry way, until…..

            "Psst! Psssssssstttt!!!"

            "Who the…" I whisper as I ready my pepper spray (which is illegal in the state of Virginia, but they sell it here, so I don't really see why they outlawed it at all).

            "Hold up, hold up there, missy…" The man says in a quiet voice while stepping into the light.  He has on a black hoody, a long black trench-coat, and black steel toe boots to match.

            "Umm…Aren't you a little warm there, buddy?  It _is_ about seventy degrees out…"  I questioned while arching an eyebrow at him.

            "Look…" He began, avoiding the question. "You look like a smart girl.  Like you'd know a deal when you saw one…"

            "Uh-huh, your point being…?" I said while keeping my pepper-spray in my hand.

            "I got these tickets in the back, good tickets.  To see…" he looks side to side, "Peaches n' Herb, The Commodores, and…The Temptations!"

            "Ack! You better not be lyin' bro!  I know concerts like these are scarce" I said while squinting my eyes at him, "So where are you hiding them at!?"

            "This way…" He said while leading me through a thicket of bushes, behind a couple of picnic table and to some kind of opening.  It was actually what seemed to be what was left of a rotting wooden gate, surrounded by tall bushes.

            "Ladies first." He said while pushing the gate open.

            "…" I stared at him a moment while contemplating the situation. 'C'mon girl, you know how long it's been since Peaches n' Herb have been back together!  Just make sure you get a good look at his face just in case he tries some sneaky shit.'  I proceed to walk through the gate, but stop abruptly at the entrance.  I hear him sigh in annoyance.  "Its dark in there and its daytime outside…." I begin to whine.

            "What the…!?:" He yells, obviously outraged. "Just get the hell in there!" He pushes me in.  And the funny part about it is, I start to fall.  I mean fall straight down, like there's no ground cuz I'm plummeting like a brick being dropped off the empire state building.  Just when I think I'm about to die, my fall abruptly stops, and I float down to what I believe to be the ground. 

            "I knew those tickets were just too good to be true…" I mumble to myself as I shuffle around," Where the hell am I!?"  I try to find my way out of this tight confined space.  I look up to see what looks like light shining through the cracks of a door.  So, naturally, I push on the doors and they open.  To my surprise, I'm facing the back of a pale skinned, dark eyed, dark haired boy; who just happens to be singing…

            "Like a virgin!!! Ahhh! Touched for the very first time…!" the boy sings while pulling his shirt on and shaking his bootay. "Like a VIIIIRR-RR-RRRRR-RRRR-GIIIINNN—" he stops, mid note, because now he is staring in shock at me, who is still standing in what just happens to be his closet.

            "…" I stand there shocked for two reasons.  One, this boy is singing Madonna, friggin' MADONNA!!!  And two, for the first time in my life, I'm at a loss for words.  So my jaw is just…hanging there. Wide open.

            "Why are you, no, how did you get into my closet!?"

            "Umm, why I are you sporting a pokeball on the back of your shirt..?"

            "…It's a fan!! But, so what!? How the hell did you get in my house!?" he all but screams.  His hand when to down to some holster thing on his leg, and he pulls out something shiny…and pointy.

            'Okay, Ayana.  It seems you've made him a little perturbed, not only that but he's got shiny, point objects that he can't wait to try out on ya.' 

            "Okay, wait just one second, bro…" I try to stall him.

            "You must be sent from Akatsuki…Think you can finish me off, do ya?" He said while one of his eyes twitched and he began advancing on me.

            "Aka- what!?  N-no y-y-y-you've got it a-all w-w-wrong!" I squeak in a high pitched voice.

            "The hell I do…!"

            With that he came towards me.  And I did only what came natural.  I sprayed him with pepper spray, and then pulled out 'Ole Faithful' *my handy-dandy box-cutter* and did some of my best work as I kicked his arse.

~~~~***back to reality-er-the present***~~~~

            Naruto, try as he might, just couldn't hold it in, "Kyahahahahahaha!!  YOU were singing LIKE A VIRGIN!!!!??" he guffawed while rolling on the floor and holding his sides.

            "Y-y-you s-saw S-Sasuke kun with n-n-n-no shirt on..!?" Sakura asked me with a crazed look in her eye while she rocked back and forth in the fetal position.

            "Hahahaha!!! You said….you said," Kakashi tried to speak while taking wild gasps of air, tears rolling from his visible eye, "...You said "ARSE"!!!"

            "Oh, you poor thing…" Tsunade commented, "Only God, well you and God, must know what its like to hear Sasuke kun sing."

            "…." Sasuke sent especially venomous death glares Tsunade's way.

            'If only faces could kill…' I pondered to myself.

            "Well, honey.  It looks like this whole fiasco was just a big misunderstanding." Tsunade added after she regained her composure. (she was trying to erase the mental picture of Sasuke singing) "I can't really punish you for protecting yourself…so, I guess you're free to go."

            "What the hell!?" Sasuke yelled while bolting upright, "She does THIS *points to the cuts and bruises* to MY beautiful face, and she just gets AWAY with it!!?" he huffed, totally hysterical.

            Tsunade just gave him a blank stare.  Kakashi stood, and wiped his eye.  Naruto, unfortunately, was still convulsing on the floor.  And poor, poor Sakura was as white as a sheet, rocking back and forth murmuring something about redrum.  I just sat and watched.

            "Well I suppose you're going to need somewhere to stay…" Tsunade began.  She turned and faced Kakashi, a smile lighting up her face, "Team 7 your mission, if you choose to accept, and you'd better!  Is to take care of Ayana chan as long as she resides in Konohagakure!" With that, Tsunade pushed us all out of her office, not even giving them a chance to protest.

Chewbecky:  Well, what do you guys think?

Kakashi: well *scratches his chin*  I think, that….I'm too sexy for my mask, too sexy for my mask…! Oh, so sexy!!

Chewbecky: *pats him on the head like a teacher does a dumb student* That's why I was asking them *points to readers* not you, okay hun?

Kakashi: *pouts* You never care about what I think?  I'm just a piece of meat to you…

Chewbecky: *purrs in his ear* and what a sexy hunk of meat you are...Now be a good boy, and say what we practiced.

Kakashi: *his mask absorbing all the drool*  Please read and review…please…read…and…review…


	2. Hair fetishes, self examinations, and no...

Chewbecky:  *rubbing hands together* hehe…guess what folks…I thought I told you to… GUESS!

Kakashi: *massages her shoulders* calm down, just calm down.  It's not a good thing to scare the readers away before they start to read…

Chewbecky: *eye twitching, staring off into space* definitely…def-definitely…don't scare readers…oh no….

Kakashi: *sighs* What she really wants to say, is that in this fic, Team 7 are boarding together.  That means all of them, in the SAME house.  As for ages, they're around 18/19.

Disclaimer:  C'mon, guys. You ALL know that I don't own Naruto.  Masashi Kishimoto, such a brilliant man…

Outside the Hokage's Office

            "If you ever, EVER speak another word about me and Madonna…I will KEEL you. Do you understand!?" Sasuke said, shaking me by the collar of my shirt. "That goes for the rest of you as well!"

            "Yep, got it." the others said in unison.

            "So Ayana chan, how do you feel about…" _older men_, Kakashi stopped himself before he let his true intentions out, "…living in Konoha?"

            "Um, well.  I never lived outside of The States before…" I began.

            "Well if you want, I can show you around!" Naruto chimed in.

            Before I got a chance to protest Naruto was dragging me around the city, with the rest of the team following behind us.  We stopped at a place called Ichiraku's first, then The Academy, next some sort of training ground with logs, a big arena/coliseum like place, past a couple of shops that I personally believed just happened to be on the way to the place that I would be calling home from now on.

            "This is it, the home of Team 7!" Naruto said all energetic like while he fumbled with his keys.

            "Hmmph, baka. It doesn't take that long to open a damn door…" Sasuke growled while he promptly opened the door with his own key, and let himself in.

            "Is he always this grumpy?" I ask, to no one in particular.

            "..Yeah..." Naruto and Kakashi said in unison.

            "Don't call Sasuke kun names!!" Sakura screeched while giving me the evil eye, "He's one of the strongest ninjas in Konoha! Sasuke kun, let me take care of your wounds for you!" she yelled as she disappeared in the house.

            Naruto was the next to walk in, and I just stood at the door, with Kakashi.  He looked at me, and I looked at him.  We stared at each other.  Then I looked down at my feet as a stupid, STOOPID, thought came into my head. 'I wonder what his hair feels like…' (Oh c'mon! you know you've thought it, too!!) Then I stared at him, and then his hair.  A look of contemplation took over my face as I slowly but surely became consumed with the thought.

            'I wonder why she keeps staring at me like that…Is there something stuck in my hair…?'

            "Um…Kakashi, right?" I said trying to collect myself for the question I was about to ask.

            "Hai."

            "Uh, could I..." I begin to shuffle my feet, "Would it be okay if…." _Dammit girl, just say it!_ "Can I touch your hair?" I asked in a tiny voice.

            The towering, silver haired jounin crinkled his eye in amusement and bent down to my height.  'Stupid hair fetish' I curse to myself.  I reach out, with one hand, and gently stroke the silky strands of my desire.  I then begin to softly run my fingers through it with my other hand.  If anyone were to walk by, I sure as hell don't know what they would think.  If it was me, I'd probably stop and gawk, then open my mouth to say something but wouldn't be able to find the words that best represent my out of kilter thoughts, then gawk some more before I finally return walking on my merry way.  Being as stupid as I just explained that I was, I begin to giggle like an insane junior high school girl who is smoking some of that 'precious herb'.

            "Eh, what's so funny, Ayana chan?" he asks while tilting his head back to look me in the eyes.

            "N-nothing's funny…it's just… it's just that…"  I can't remember what I want to say when he's staring at me, but I still haven't taken my hands from his silvery mane. "You have very nice hair, Kakashi…" I whisper while forcing myself to tear my hands away from his hair.

            "Ayana chan, do you want ramen, or would you rather have Sensei's hair to eat?" Naruto busted in, making one of his classic, fox like faces. 

            "Please, don't ask…" I began…but this is Naruto I'm asking.

            "What's with you and touching people's hair?" Naruto asked while squinting his eyes.

            "Naruto, you shouldn't be so rude…" Kakashi stated.

            "It's okay.  I just have this, STOOPID, hair fetish; it makes me want to touch people's hair all the time." I explained while shrugging my shoulders as if it were a normal thing.  Naruto looked at me, then at Kakashi, then back at me.

            "Naruto…" I start in a sweet voice, "…can I touch your hair?"

            The blond stared at me for a moment, and then walked closer and bowed his head.  I smile, and then delve my hands into his unruly golden locks.  Yes, his hair seemed to be a little coarser than Kakashi's hair.  I stroked my fingers through his sun shiny mane while calculating the differences and likenesses of his and Kakashi's hair.  I could truly say that I liked both for different reasons. I liked Naruto's hair because the feel of it made you not want to care, to be stubborn.  Kakashi's on the other hand, emitted a feeling of being care-free.  Just roll with the punches, and deal with the cards life has dealt you.  I removed my hands, and turned to go inside the house…only to find Sasuke and Sakura staring at me like I had a third eye.

            "What the…wait a minute, do I even want to know?" Sakura spoke up.

            "Great, another dobe is gonna be living with us…" Sasuke said while turning to leave.

            "Wait!" I called out to him, "Sasuke…" I swallowed hard. He turned and threw a blank look my way.  Well it would have been blank if it weren't for his face being red from the pepper spray. "Umm, I know we started out…kinda…like…on the wrong foot."

            "Ah…" He responded while arching an eyebrow.

          "Well…could we just, start over?"

            "…hn…" he nodded, and proceeded to leave once more.

            " Wait, wait! One more thing…" I said while watching him turn around in annoyance. _Shit_.  "Um…is it alright…I mean, can I…touch your hair..?"

            His eyes widened in shock.  What did he think I was gonna ask? I heard a thud, and looked to see that Sakura had once again, fainted.  Kakashi let out a low chuckle, and Naruto stood there with this stupid grin on his face.  Sasuke looked; no it was more liked glared, at Naruto.  Then, cast an equal look of annoyance Kakashi's way.  Finally he sighed in defeat, and bowed for me to touch his hair.

            "Oh my gawd…" I said, my eyes going wide as my hands had a field day in his hair.

            "What is it?" He asked me, still bowing.

            "Its….Its…sweet baby Jesus, your hair is SO SOFT!!!"

            Sasuke blushed, and then disappeared into the house.  I followed suite, Naruto and Kakashi (who once again, was carrying a fainted Sakura) followed behind me.

            YES!!! This is the part where I describe the layout of the house, IN GREAT DETAIL!! Okay, I walk in and am in what seems to be like a foyer (which is pronounced "fo-yay" cuz it's a friggin FRENCH word for crying out loud!).  To my left there is a staircase, that leads….dun, dun, dun!!! UPSTAIRS! (Gasps can be heard throughout the audience.  I know, who'd have thunk it?) Anyway, to my right is a door, which I'm thinking it is probably a door to a closet or something of that nature.  I look down and realize that I'm walking on one of those plastic thingies. (You know those things with the spikes on the bottom that you put down to keep the carpet clean.)  The plasti-trail (you like how I just made up that name, dontcha?) leads straight to the kitchen.  To the left of the kitchen are a few steps that lead down to the living area.  To the right of the kitchen, is a dining area.  There is a patio door behind the table that leads to the back yard.  On the wall farthest to the right of the dining room, there is a door.  A door that leads to…the…GARAGE! (Okay, I'm seriously gonna stop doing that now).

            "Yo…"Kakashi stole my attention away from my house inspection, "Follow me, I'll show you where you're going to be sleeping." 

            I followed him, and the fainted Sakura he was STILL carrying, upstairs. At the top of the stairs, to the left, was a bedroom.  We turned right, and further down the hall, on the left side, were two bathrooms.  That's right, they're door to door.  At the end of the hall, there was another bedroom which I recognized to be Sasuke's.  Across from the bathroom were two more rooms.  Kakashi entered the first room on the right, and of course, I followed him.  I was instantly greeted by a blinding… (Get this now)…PINKNESS! After my pupils adjusted, I took a good look around the room I would be sharing with Sakura.  The room was a nice size.  There were some of those glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling.  One window existed on the opposite wall of the door.  It was decorated in pink curtains, tied back with a frilly-lacey like material.  Kakashi walked to the left side of the room and laid Sakura down on her futon; which was covered by hello kitty, badtz maru, and…a Sasuke plushie!!?  I arched in eyebrow at the likeness of the Sasuke plushie and badtz maru, it was so…so, uncanny.

            Kakashi pointed to the closet, opposite of the futon, "There's another futon mattress in there.  I'll be back with some sheets and pillows." *poof* he disappeared.

            I walked to the closet after a few seconds of shock due to Kakashi's departure.  True to his word, I found a rolled up futon mattress, and pulled it out beside Sakura's. I sat on it and looked around while I waited for Kakashi.  The closet was directly behind the door.  To the left side of the door, was a vanity with pictures of Sasuke all over the place.  On the wall with the closet was a bureau (pronounced, "byur-row", yet another French word).  On that were… pictures of…SASUKE!!  I sat on my mattress and just diddle-daddled for about…half an hour!  After another fifteen minutes go by, *poof* Kakashi reappeared.

            "Yo…"

            "What, you had to go pick the cotton to make the sheets?" I asked while rolling back and forth on my rolled up futon mattress as if it were one of those exercise balls.

            "Actually, I went downstairs to get the sheets…and it just so happened that I looked up and saw this set of twins outside the window.  They looked pretty distressed, so I walked up to them, like any good shinobi would do, and asked if I could help them out in any way." Kakashi paused, and his eye morphed into a happy arch.  "It turns out; they both thought they had breast cancer because it runs in their family.  But both admitted they didn't know how to properly execute a self examination, and asked if I could be of any assistance.  So I, dutifully and honorably, obliged to help them.  They then lifted up their shirts—"

            He stopped talking while he watched my jaw hit the floor and me stop "exercising" on my futon.  I arched both eyebrows, and willed my jaw shut.  I looked up to the left in contemplation, then up to the right when perverseness flooded my brain.  My jaw, once again, hit the floor and then a strange smirk took form on my face.  I watched as Kakashi lifted his only visible eyebrow, and looked at me in what I can only guess was a look of curiosity.  I cackled evilly in my mind as I crossed my arms.

            "You know…." I began, tapping my chin with my pointer finger, "I'm more of a visual learner myself…" I finished while holding my jacket open, giving Kakashi an expectant stare.

            Goodness! Talk about a "Kodak Moment".  Kakashi's eye nearly bounced right out of the socket as the bed sheets he was holding hit the floor.  His hair seemed to stand even more on end.  He turned around quickly and his arms looked like they were rubbing, or wiping something from under his mask.

            Sasuke just happened to waltz right in and stopped dead in his tracks.  He stared at me for a moment because I was now sitting, holding my jacket open with a stupid look on my face.  He then looked at Kakashi and seemed to whiten a little.

            "Sensei…you, you're bleeding!?"

            "Hehe…"Kakashi chuckled nervously, wiping his bloody hands on his pants.  "Its okay, Sasuke kun, I'm not harmed…" …_that bad.  Damn sexy foreigner girl!_

            "Dinner's ready!" Naruto yelled from downstairs.

            I didn't waste any time jumping up and heading out of the room, down the hall and down the stairs.

            "What happened to--"Sasuke started to ask.

                        "Please, don't ask. You can't handle the truth…" Kakashi cut him off and began walking to the door.  He paused before leaving, "Could you wake Sakura chan?  You know how she'll get if we forget about her…"

            Sasuke just nodded his head and proceeded to wake the pink haired shinobi.  Something in his gut told him that he _really_ didn't want to know.

Chewbecky: GOMEN!! Minna san, I think this chapter is somewhat shorter than the first one…

Kakashi: *appearing out of no where* Since I am a jounin, I **KNOW** that this chapter just happens to be a **WHOLE** lot shorter than the first one…

Chewbecky: grrr!!*grabs Kakashi, and holds him in a headlock* Anyway…I swear, and by thee I fore swear, that the _next_ chapter will be longer, funnier, and….dun, dun, dun!!! Have some sort of plot by then!

Kakashi: *face turning red, the visible part anyway* you…*gasp* …lie! *gasp*…it's…it's…impossible for you…to do such a thing!

Chewbecky:*tightening her grip* Shut the hell up!! *begins to pull on his ear* Say it…SAT IT, NOW!!

Kakashi: *choking*…please…review! For…the love of..GAWD!!

            Hm


	3. Snuggles!

Kakashi: *sweat drops* umm..Chewbecky chan?

Chewbecky: *dragging my soap box up to the front of the stage* what?

Kakashi: please don't do this…

Chewbecky: * glare * Shut up!  I need to get this off my chest. *taps the microphone* Microphone checkah…one, two checkah!

Kakashi:*sits Indian style and pulls out Icha Icha Paradise*

Chewbecky:  *I clear my throat* Look, I'm not perfect.  So it must not be too much of a wonder that I don't write perfectly.  Of course there are going to be grammar and spelling errors.  As for those who write flames…keep it up.  And for that same person who can't seem to tell if the story is a self insertion or not….why?  WHY!?  Everybody else seemed to catch on that the story started in third person omniscient (meaning from an outsider's point of view), and continued on in fucking FIRST PERSON (from Ayana's point of view)!  Look, I don't mind getting flames.  But just because you're below the intelligence capacity of everybody else does not give you the right to tell me to stop writing.  Who the hell do you think you are!?  If you don't like it, don't read it!  You're not hurting my feelings by not reading it.  Furthermore, I didn't see the clause in the rule book of fanfiction.net where it said that in every story there needed to be a plot line… So boo ya!!  I don't remember ever saying that I had a fucking PhD in English.  AND some of the grammar and spelling "errors" are in those little things called quotation marks, which means its FUCKING DIALOGUE!!

Kakashi: *standing up* Can I getta AMEN!!?

Audience: Amen, brotha!

Chewbecky: Oh yeah, one more thing.  Here's a warning for all of the readers since LovelyBlue thought I should put one up.  LovelyBlue (the evil flaming BIOTCH which I am calling out right now) has a stick up its ass, and you should proceed with caution whenever you see that JACKASS! "Why", you ask? It's because LovelyBlue knighted their stupid-ass-fucking self as Ruler of all fanfiction.net.  If your fic isn't to that motha-fucka's liking, then that chicken –headed biotch will tell you that you need to remove your fic and don't ever try to write another one.

Kakashi: *hands her a water bottle* keep on, girl!

Chewbecky:  *takes a swig* Thank you to all the other, nicer, readers out there.  Also, to those who _know_ how to give constructive criticism…the right way.  To all of the other writers out there, I just want to let you know that it doesn't matter how many errors you have in your fic.  It's all about what is said through your words to your readers.  The people who truly know how to read are those who can look past mechanics, and all that "'I' after 'e'" bullshit, and hear the story.  LovelyBlue don't hate the playa, hate the game.  To all the future reviewers who want to send flames, go on!  All flames do is heat me up, and when I'm heated, I keep on.  To all the other readers and people who gave supporting reviews, I ain't EVEN 'bout to stop writing!  I'm sorry to have ranted for so long.  Yurushite kudasai.  

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns all of Naruto…and you KNOW this, MAN!  

Team 7's Residence

            We just finished up dinner.  It was none other than…RAMEN!  Naruto and Sasuke had kitchen duty.  Kakashi sat at the table while reading his 'precious'.  I made sure to look every which way but Sunday, so that whatever was in my view wasn't Kakashi.  

            "Oi, Ayana chan?" Sakura asked, getting my attention.

            "Hmm..?"

            "C'mon, let's get ready for bed.  Tomorrow's gonna be a pretty busy day, and you'll need all the rest you can get."

            "What's goin on tomorrow?" I inquired.

            "Well, for one, you need to find a job.  You didn't think you were gonna live here for free…?"

            "Ah…gotcha." I said while getting up and heading for the stairs.  Sakura followed behind me.

            "You can borrow some of my clothes if you like, until you have money to buy your own." Sakura said while rummaging through the drawers in her bureau.  I began to unroll my futon and make it up with the sheets Kakashi had dropped.  I lay out on the bed waiting for Sakura to find something for me to wear.

            "Here." She said while tossing the items on me, "You can wear that to sleep in.  We can decide later on what you'll wear tomorrow."

            "Hn…" I grunted with my eyes shut.  The green eyed kunoichi walked out and shut the door.  I heard her walk across the hall and water start to run.  I rollover onto my stomach, then wonder why in the hell I just did that, and rollover once more so that I'm on my back.  I sit up and look at the garments Sakura just lent to me.  It was a yellow tank top with pink stars and matching pajama pants.  Still sitting, I take off my shirt and change into the tank top.  I sigh in annoyance at the fact that I actually have to get up to change my pants.  Reluctantly, I stood up and made the transaction.  I lay back down while a wait for Sakura to finish in the bathroom.

            "Damn, girl!" I murmur to myself, "It don't take all that water to take a damn shower!  I don't care how dirty you are…"  I fold my clothes up and stack them next to my futon.  I roll on my left side and stare at the closet door until I start to drift off; which is only for about a minute, cuz I swear the closet door just moved!

            "Ayana chan…Ayana chan…" a 'so sweet its gotta be evil' voice called out.

            "Dammit!" I hiss to myself as I rollover.  "Go back home, Ayana is sleep!"

            "Aww" the sweet-evil sugary voice whined, "…then who will I play…! Wait, a minute!  You just tried to trick me!"

            "No shit, Sherlock!" I roll my eyes, "Look, whatever you're selling…I. Don't.  Want.  None!!  Now, go home! I can hear your mama calling you…"

            "My mom is in hell.  Where's yours?" the voice continued.

            "Nunya." I plainly state.

            "What…where is that?"

            "Nunya business! Now leave me the hell alone!"

            "Hahahahaha!  I wanted to play with you first…" the voice became deeper with every word, "But now, I'll just…KEEL YOU!"  With that, the owner of the voice busted from inside the closet straight on to my face.  I couldn't see what it was, but it felt warm and…and cuddly!

            "What the HELL!?"  I said while jerking 'the thing' off my face and taking a good long stare at it.  "GASP!! You…you're…SNUGGLES!!" I scream at a girly pitch and glomp him, pulling him to my chest and nuzzling my cheek against him.

            "Yeah…I'm Snuggles! Hug me!"

            "You're so cute!"  I squeal, "It's a shame though…"

            "What?"

            "It's a shame that you're…EVIL!" I said while pimp-slapping him down on the futon.

            "Aaah! You stupid…"

            "Uh, uh, uh…watch your language!" I scream while I jump from the edge of my futon and body splash him.  Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto hear rumbling from the bedroom and dash upstairs.

            _Is that Ayana chan and Sakura chan…?_ Kakashi thinks to himself, as he busts the door down hoping to see his wet dream of girl-on-girl action come to life.  _Damn! Just a damn bear…pulling on Ayana chan's shirt!_  The silver haired jounin sat down and watched the two wrestle on the futon.  He pulled out a bag of popcorn, from only god knows where, and offered some to Naruto and Sasuke who had taken seats on either side of him.  Although his fantasy had always been two girls wrestling…in the mud…wearing only a thong…he decided that it wasn't so disappointing to catch a glimpse of Ayana's ta-tas every now and then when the bear attacked her.

            "Kyah!" I growled while elbowing the bear in his eye.  I quickly flipped him over and dug my knee into his back while pinning his arms behind him.

            "Gargh! Just wait, I'm gonna kill you! Stupid bitch!" Snuggles yelled in a deep voice with the accent of a garbage man in New York City.

            "What was that!?" I said, banging his head into the wall.

            "Aaah!"

            "Yeah, that's what I thought you said!  Now tell me who sent you, BIOTCH!"

            "Nobody sent me!"

            "Hmm…I spy with my little eyes…a LYER!" I growl while banging his head repeatedly into the wall.

            "Alright, forget about it!  I'll tell you, dammit!"

            "Wise choice now spit it out!  I ain't got all night…"

            "…Itachi.  He sent me…"

            "GASP!  Oh, the shock…the shock, the shock!"  Sasuke wailed while dropping the popcorn he'd been eating.  I crane my neck around to see Sasuke, Kakashi, Naruto and…Sakura!  The four of them were sitting on the floor with money in their hands and empty cans all around them.

            "FAITO (pronounced fight-o)!" a drunken Naruto yelled out, pumping his fist full of money in the air.  "C'mon, Ayana chan!  Big money, big money, BIG MONEY!"

            I pick the bear up and throw him square in Naruto's face.  The drunken boy fell back, but his hand never loosened its hold on the money. 

             "I can't believe you guys!" I whisper in a really high pitch.  "That demon bear from HELL was trying to kill me, and you don't even try to help! Oh, nooooo! You just sit there and watch!" I fume, my chest heaving up and down (much to Kakashi's liking), "And, you..!" I growl through clenched teeth, pointing at Kakashi.  "I know you saw my head-lights!"

            "Hehe…" Kakashi chuckled while holding his hands in front of him, "And what nice headlights they were.  I mean, they totally caught my attention…and HELD it!"

            "Well, the sneak peek ain't free!  Anyone who sees my money-makers has to PAY, P-A-Y!" I stated with my hand out and an expectant look on my face.  "Pay up!"

            Much to my surprise, all four of them and Snuggles (so that makes five) handed me their money…and I took it, too! Sasuke and Naruto, with their heads hanging low, mumbled a "good night" and left the room.  Kakashi dusted off his pants and grabbed the bear by the back of the neck.  "I'll drop this off at Hokage sama's office…" He said and disappeared.  Sakura and I got in our beds and…went to sleep. (hehe)

            Outside of Sakura's window, a tall oak tree swayed in the wind. On one of its many branches two evil figures loomed in the dark.  "I told you that damn, stupid bear wouldn't work!" evil figure #1 snapped at evil figure #2.

            "Aww…"evil figure #2 wined, "He was so cute!  I thought for sure that it would've tricked the girl into a trap…"

            "And then what!?  He would've killed by playing 'tea party', or making her hug him until she went insane!?" evil figure #1 asked in annoyance.

            "I was thinking more along the lines of, she would be driven to kill her self because she wouldn't be able to stand him any longer…"

            "Pssht! That is the wackest shit I've ever heard in my life.  Don't ever let me hear you say something like that again…"

            "Sorry…"

            "What did I just say!?  Forget it; we'll just have to figure out another way to get rid of her.  If we don't, you know it's our heads…" evil figure #1 stated.

            "I know…"

            "Let's get going.  Sex and the City is coming on, and you know how _she_ gets if we're late…"with that, evil figures #1 and #2 jumped from their branches and headed off to…wherever they were going.

Kakashi: AH! *holds his chest*

Chewbecky: GASP!  *runs to his side* Kaka kun, what is it!?  Are you okay!?

Kakashi: *a tear slides from his visible eye* its. Just…you…

Chewbecky: *in British accent* Come now! Spit it out, man!

Kakashi: *pats me on the head* I'm so proud of you!!

Chewbecky: *utterly confused* would you mind telling me why?

Kakashi: *holds up chapter three* Look at that!

Chewbecky: *looks* umm…uh-huh…

Kakashi: *crinkles his eye* in_ a voice like a father teases his son when he starts to grow facial hair _I think I see a little plot coming into the story!

Chewbecky: *blushes* Hihihi!!  Please read and review and folks!


	4. Prettiful ponies, and job hunting

Chewbecky:  Well, I'm sooooo sorry! I know it's been a few days since I've updated…

Ayana:  *runs in and falls at my feet* Help me! CHEWBECKY SAMA, HELP ME PLEEEAASSEEE!!!

Chewbecky:  * infamous eyebrow arch* Ayana chan!?  What in the world is going on?

Ayana:  *sobbing* Two girls *hiccup* were strangling me *hiccup* becuz Kakashi saw my melons..

Chewbecky: *sweat drop* And you want ME to do what about this?

Ayana: Aren't you like the "will of the macro-cosims" or something!?  Stop them, man!  STOP THEM!!

Ramen Sama and Mori san: *running in like rabid animals and sniffing the air* There! *they point to Ayana*

Ayana: *cowering behind me* OMG! Please, please do something and make them stop! 

Chewbecky: *clear my throat* Ayana chan would like it--*get stomped upon*

Ramen Sama and Mori san: *pimp slapping the hell out of Ayana and cackling all evil like* I've got you now, Biotch!  How dare Kakashi see your headlights!!

Ayana: *falls down, and is immobile like in a horror movie* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Kakashi: *poofs in* Chewbecky chan! *helps me up, and dusts me off* What happened!?

Chewbecky: (o_0)'…headlights….pimp slaps…

Kakashi: *ponders* hmmm…You mean they're fighting becuz I saw Ayana chan's headlights? (great deduction skills, nee?  he IS a jounin after all)

Chewbecky:  *coming to* yeah.  Now do something, since you're a jounin and all…

Kakashi: *eye glints evilly as he devises an EVIL plan* ladies…ladies…LADIES!

Ramen Sama and Mori san:  *drop Ayana's unconscious body* Kakashi SAMA!!

Kakashi: *eye still glinting…evilly* I meant no un-equality when I looked err, I mean, just happened to see Ayana chan's hoo-haws.  It seems the only way to settle this is…*rubs his hands together* for me to see yours as well! So, off with the tops!

Ramen Sama and Mori san: ….OKAY!!

Chewbecky:  SWEET MOTHER MARY!! *turn my head* I don't own Naruto, now on with chapter four before anymore flashing occurs.

At the evil hideout… (This will be known as Bloodyview Condominiums).

So, at Bloodyview Condo's, Condo number 13…

            The two evil figures have finally made it home and into their house.  Evil figure #1 sets his keys on the table in the narrow hallway.  Evil figure #2 is already in the kitchen, scrounging through the fridge for something to eat.

            "Branny muffins, is that you?" A very, very annoying feminine voice calls from the living room.

            "Hai…" evil figure #1 (a.k.a. 'branny muffins') replies.  Evil figure #2 can be heard gagging on whatever found to eat due to the 'term of endearment'.

            "Hon can't hear you!"

            "HAI…*mumbles* sugar dimples…"

            "BWAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* HAHAHA *gag* HAHAHA!" evil figure #2 bursts out.

The annoying female ignores the laughter and continues on, "You're just in time for Sex in the City.  Come on, you know I like to snuggle when I watch this…"

            "Hai…" whipped branny muffins mumbles as he trudges to the living room and plops down on the couch.

            "So how did your job go today?" Tammy, the annoying female, asked.

'Branny muffins' turns his head to face her, and sighs. "You know I'm not allowed to talk about my missions…We've been through this a hundred times…"

            "But how can I comfort you if you never tell me anything!?" Tammy pouted, her crystal blue eyes feinting a hurt look.  The blonde with black roots knew she could get away with murder with _that_ look.  "I…I just wanna take care of you.  Is that so wrong…?"

            "You already take great care of me, boom-boom kitty."

            "Aww…branny muffins!! You know how it makes me feel when you call me that." Tammy purred in his ear.

            Branny muffins smiled on the inside, thankful that that conversation was over with.  The two of them wrapped themselves around each other and cuddled for the duration of Sex in the City.  Evil figure #2 made a face of disgust as he headed for his room and called it a night.

The next morning…back in main city Konoha.

            "I wanna be Fluttershy!"

            "No, NO! I'm Fluttershy this time, so you HAVE to be Sparkleworks!"

It went on and on, back and forth between the two little girls.  Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi were assigned the mission of watching these two little twins.  The only problem was that they were spoiled rotten.  What made the problem worse was that these two knew that their father was the daimyo of the fire country, and that meant they could raise hell and get away with it.

            "Well then if I can't be Fluttershy, then I 'm not playing prettiful-prancing-pony-princesses with you!" Yanagi, the brown hair brown eyed eldest twin, yelled while crossing her arms and sticking her nose up in the air.

            "Fine then, don't play with me!" Rei said while twirling her finger in one of her midnight black pigtails.  Her grey eyes took on a mischievous glint, "I'll just get HER to play with me", she said while pointing to Sakura.  She picked up her ponies and sat next to Sakura and began to tell her how prettiful prancing-pony-princesses was played.

            Yanagi took on a face of rage, "Oh yeah!  Then I guess I'll just have to play terrific-tipsy-tea-party with THEM!" she screamed, pointing to Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi.  She then walked over and practically dragged them to her Disney princess power table.

            "That's not fair, Yanagi! You can't have three and I only get one!" Rei screeched with her hands on her hips.

            "Fine! You can have him *points to Sasuke*!"

            "No, I want him *points to Kakashi*!"

            "NO! You juss want him cuz he's got more prettiful hair!"

            "But you've got three who have more prettiful hair than the one I got *points to Sakura*, so you have to give me either that one *points to Naruto* or that one *points to Kakashi*."

            "Hey, we're not your toys! WE are real people!" Sakura yelled, fed up with the fact that her hair wasn't considered 'prettiful'.  "Now how about you treat us grown-ups with a little respect!?"

            Rei stood up, so she could look at Sakura face to face.  "If you don't do as we say, we'll give a bad report to our daddy!"

            "Yeah," Yanagi chimed in, "And we'll tell him that you were mean to us, and you hurt us!"

            "But we didn't even touch you…" Naruto stated the obvious truth.

            Yanagi's brown eyes slanted evilly, "Oh, yeah…?" she then scratched herself from her wrist to her elbow.

            Team 7's eyes went wide while they all simultaneously gulped.  Kakashi was the first to find his voice, "So how do we play terrific-tipsy-tea-party…?"

At a random store in Konoha…

            "I'm sorry ma'am; we've already filled that position."

            "Oh…thanks anyway" I reply as I trudge out of the store.  The only thing I've been hearing all morning is "you don't fit the credentials", "we were looking for someone who has basic ninja skills" or "we've already filled that position".  _Gawd! I'm never gonna find a job at this rate.  Maybe I should just call it a day…NO! Not yet, there is still one more I haven't checked out yet._  I continued to walk down the busy streets of Konoha.  I had read earlier in the morning that the Konoha Ninja Academy were in search of new staff.  If I couldn't find a respectable job I would probably have to work in a bar, or even worse, a strip club.  

            _Maybe this isn't the way people dress when job searching._  I had on a pair of Sakura's low-cut, dark blue jeans with a black, white and brown striped blouse that were open on the shoulders.  My hair was pulled up in a bun with the bottom half hanging down.  To top it all off, I had on a pair of Sakura's black leather boots with spiked heels.  Kakashi had said that if I asked for a job wearing this, that he would definitely give it to me.  That was probably a sign to change clothes…that I ignored.  I rounded the corner and took in a deep breath as I ascended the stairs to the Academy.  _Here goes nothing'…_

Back with the twins…

            "Isn't our pony princess daughter soooo boot-i-ful…?"

            "…ah…"Sasuke replied.

            "Daughter you go and get ready for the ball, while I talk with your father." Rei said in a regal tone.

            "H-hai…" Sakura managed through clenched teeth.

            "Ahem!"

            "I meant:  Hai, oh beau-terrific pony queen mother…"Sakura said while she pretended to trot her pony off somewhere else.

            Rei turned to Sasuke, "Oh husband, do you think our daughter will find her prince tonight at the ball?"

            "…ah…"

Rei sighed and rolled her eyes, "Geesh, you have to say something more than "ah"!!"

Sasuke cleared his throat while his face blushed slightly, "Of course she will, dear.  She reminds me of you when _we_ met at _that_ ball…"

            "Oh, husband! You always know just what to say!!" Rei sighed while linking arms with the Uchiha.  Sakura sat off in the corner, cursing under her breath at the fact that this five year old is getting farther with Sasuke than she ever had.

            "How is your tea, Kaka kun?" Yanagi asked politely.

Kakashi arched his eye happily and sipped from his pretend tea cup, "Why it's the best tea I've ever tasted."

            "Why thank you.  How about you, Naru chan?"

            "Naru CHAN!?" Naruto began but was elbowed in the side by Kakashi, "I mean…ah…the tea is great, Yanagi sama…"

            Kakashi and Naruto sat most uncomfortably with their knees bent up to their chests (since the table was made for children), but somehow kept smiles plastered on their faces (Kakashi did, at least).

            _I'd rather deal with a thousand Tazuna's than have to play with this brat for another second…_Kakashi thought to himself while he passed Yanagi the plastic crumpets. 

In the Recruiting Office of the Ninja Academy…

            "So, why do you think you qualify for this job?" A man with a green flack jacket asked me from behind a metal desk with all sorts of papers stacked on it.

            "Well," I began, crossing my legs, "I love children.  Ever since I was little I knew I wanted to give back to the community.  When I was in school I was always amazed by the gift of teaching.  I want to touch the lives of children the same way my teachers touched my life.  I'm proficient in reading, writing and arithmetic; and I think I have good temperament when it comes to dealing with young children."

            A warm smile possessed the lips of the brown pony-tailed man sitting across from me.  He took a deep sigh and ran his fingers quickly across the horizontal scar on his face.  "You know what?  You're the only applicant I've interviewed today that seems to think teaching is more than just a job…"

            "…"  I didn't know what to say.  I was expecting a swift, yet polite rejection much like the kind I've been receiving all day.

            "Between me and you, you've got the job.  Be here bright and early, 9 am tomorrow morning.  By then, I'll be done with paper work…"

            "..REALLY!?" I jump out of my seat, hugging the breath out of the poor man, "Ohmahgod, Ohmahgod, Ohmahgod!!  You will not be disappointed, thank you SO MUCH!"

            "Y-you're welcome…"

            "Ack! I'm sorry!" I apologize while releasing him.

            "It's okay.  Just remember, Ayana san, tomorrow. 9 am. Room 12-C. You'll be my new teacher assistant."

            "Hai, Iruka san!" I straighten my back and salute him, "Thanks, again." I say while I practically skip out of the building and all the way home.

Chewbecky: *passes straws out to the audience* Yes, I know, I know!  This chapter totally sucks!

Kakashi: *shakes his head* Tell me about it… This chapter sucks harder than a harlot in a red light district…

Chewbecky: *throws a brick at him* Well I wouldn't know anything about a "red-light district", Kaka kun!  Just how do you know about it!?

Kakashi" *putting ice on his newest lump* Hehe…you know…missions…they have you go to the strangest places…

Chewbecky:  *cuts her eyes* Anyways, reviews are welcome.  I would really appreciate some constructive criticism!!

Kakashi: *plots evilly* There might even be an unveiling of the mysterious evil figures, next chapter!!

Chewbecky: *covers his mouth* hush fool! Don't be tellin' all my bizness!!


	5. Of Teenagers and Hormones

Chewbecky: *chanting while staring into a mirror* I am a good writer, this story will have a plot, and then there shall be climax…and finally a conclusion!

Kakashi: *reading Icha Icha Paradise* Why don't you try this?  *shoves book in my face* there's lots of plots and thingies!

Chewbecky:  *slaps the book away like it's the plague* AHH!  Not that kind of plot!!

Kakashi:*a tear falls as he watches his book fly away, and then turn into a sparkle in the horizon*

Chewbecky: *guilt welling up inside*  I'm sorry Kaka kun…*pulls another Icha Icha Paradise out of thin air* Here, this one's better anyway! It's in COLOR!!

Kakashi: ^_______^

Chewbecky:*tapping my chin* hmm…I guess a little horny angst couldn't hurt the story…

Kakashi: *throws a victory sign* That's the spirit! WOOT!! WOOT!!

Chewbecky: Well, I don't own Naruto.  *sings in the tune of hakuna matata* Masashi…Kishimoto…Masashi…Kishimoto!!

Chapter 5:  Of Teenagers and Hormones…

            I skipped all the way the home, only to realize when I got there that there was no food to prepare dinner with.  So I took a few bucks out the emergency cow canister, and headed to the store.

            "Tonight we're gonna have something special to celebrate me getting a job…"I say to myself as I walk into the quaint little grocery store.  It wasn't too big, and seemed like it only sold the essentials.  It can be annoying some times when stores have all that useless merchandise at outrages prices.  I walked all the way to the back, to the frozen meats section.  I had already decided in my mind that we would have curry chicken, so it was only essential that I look for chicken.  I looked at the price, 99 cents/pound.  Not too bad, I had seen higher prices for chicken.  I finally decide on two packs of wings.  It should be enough to feed team 7 and myself.

            After putting the chicken into my basket I walk down to aisle number 7.  This is where the rice is, and everybody knows you can't have curry without rice.  That's when it happened…that's when I saw…him.

A/N: imagine "cologne commercial", you know, with the sexy guy…

            The scene goes widescreen and I can see "him" down at the opposite end of the aisle.  He turns his head and looks at me, his white eyes looking me up and down.  He turns to face me completely, and rips off his shirt to reveal oiled up muscles in a tight tank top.  A song starts playing in the background, a man with a German accent is singing "Sexy, sexy, sexy…he's got sex appeal…"  

            My jaw nearly hits the floor as a breeze from nowhere begins to blow, making his long brown hair blow all around his face.  He starts doing various poses (too explicit for me to elaborate on) with a bottle of "Hammer" in his hand.  He whips his head side to side in slow motion while spraying some "Hammer" on himself.  Walking closer to me, he flexes all of his muscles from the waist up while throwing a hot gaze my way.  Now he's only inches from my face, and I grip the handle of my basket tightly; feeling light headed and like I'll lose my balance any second.  He wraps one of his arms of steel around my waist, pulling me up against him.  His lips come closer and closer…until he finally…whispers in my ear, "Hammer (which seems to echo) …hammer…hammer…hammer…"  Then an omniscient semi-sexual commercial voice can be heard, "Don't just knock her off her feet…Hammer her!" (Oh mah gawd, that sounds so naughty! (^___^))

            "Ayana chan!!  What the hell are you doing with that bastard!?"

            I tilt my head only to find all of team 7 behind me, and Naruto pointing in what can only be explained as shock and sheer, utter horror.  I, unfortunately, am still in a somewhat compromising position with the brown haired, white eyed hottie who is still holding me by my waist, and whose face his is still against mine.  His eyes seem to be glaring at Naruto.

            With a tremendous amount of effort, and extreme sadness, I peel myself away from him.  "Ah…minna san, I didn't expect you to get off from your mission so soon…hehe…" I try, poorly, to change the subject.

            "Neji, you BASTARD!" Naruto yells as he charges full speed at him.  I step out of the way of what turned into a big ball of dust and flying papers.

            "Ahh…Ayana chan…"Kakashi began, hands in his pockets, "I didn't know you were such an exhibitionist…"

            I emitted a small "eep!" and cast my eyes downward to the floor.

            "Ayana chan, you might want to step into the ladies room…" Sakura said.  _Damn! Why can't that happen to me and Sasuke!!?_

"Why, is there something you want to tell me?" I question the kunoichi.

            "Umm, well…" she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, "Neji is a hot guy, and everybody knows that.  And since I'm a girl…and you are too…We both know that there is no way after Neji just being all over you, that you are…you, know?  I think you need to go to the ladies room and 'clean up'."

            Sasuke's eyes went wide, and Kakashi blushed.  Neji and Naruto paused for a moment, both of their faces as red as the crimson sky.  I rub the back of my neck, and stalk off towards the bathroom.  She was right; after all, I'm only human!!  Its only natural for the body to…do things, while in the state I was in.  "Damn, hormones!" I hiss while shaking my head.

At Bloodyview Condo's…

            "Wachi kun, Sammi chan are you ready!?" Tammy hollered from the narrow hallway near the front door.

            "Sammi CHAN!?  What the hell!? How the fuck did you get "sammi" from KISAME you damn ignorant bitch!?" Kisame (dun dun DUN! a.k.a. evil figure #2) yelled.

            "Shut the fuck up, worm sucker!  Gay ass, motha-fucka!!  I asked if you're fucking ready to go or not!" Tammy retorted.

            "Will you two, shut the hell up!?  Do you have to go through this every time we get ready to go somewhere?" (dun dun DUN!) Itachi said while walking to the door.

            "EXCUSE ME!" Tammy said while rolling her eyes, "I forgot that it's okay for your, damn fish smellin, stinking ass cold blooded friend to say whatever he wants to me; but it's wrong for me to say something back"

            "I know you didn't just say someone smelled like fish!" Kisame added while snapping his fingers, "It wouldn't kill you to buy a damn douche, you loose bitch!"

            "Oh, no you didn't!" 

            "Mmhmm, oh yes I did!"

            "SHUT UP!!" Itachi growled, his sharingans glowing.  The two simultaneously shut their traps.  "Let's just hurry up and go, so we can hurry up and get back…"  The trio headed out to wherever it was they were trying to get to.

Meanwhile…back at the supermarket.

  Neji and Naruto were arguing now because Neji had declared in his mind that he was just too damned sexy to waste physical energy, that could be used for something else (hehe), on Naruto.

            "You sick FREAK!  Why were you all over poor, innocent Ayana chan!?" Naruto questioned standing in a power pose, pointing accusingly at Neji.

            " Hmmph! Hello, earth to dummy!  Why wouldn't I be all over her!?"

            "Wha-what!?  What do you mean!?"

            Neji sighed and rubbed his temples, "She's only the most PERFECT woman in ALL of Konoha!"

            "…!" Naruto's poor little noodle couldn't handle thinking of anything besides training and ramen, so he stood there, bewildered.

            "I think I understand what Neji is trying to say…"Sasuke interrupted Naruto's blank train of thought.  "Ayana chan has some nice hoo-haws, a small waist, and a rotund bootay…"Sasuke said while drawing the said body image with his hands.

            "Not to mention her flawless caramel skin, dark eyes and dark brown locks."  Kakashi added in his two cents.

            "Kyaaaaahhhh!!  I can't believe you!" Sakura screamed, "You…all of you are a bunch of womanizers!!"

            "And those thighs…Oh my gawwwwddd!" Neji said, ignoring Sakura and licking his lips.

            "She's got some cute lips, too."  Kakashi said while imagining unmentionable thoughts.

            "Hell yeah!" Sasuke commented.  Naruto just sat and contemplated on Ayana chan's form.

            Just then, Kurenai just so happened to be walking by.

            Neji wolf whistled.  Kakashi greeted her with, "Hello, thighs, ass, breasts, and lips…"

            "Kakashi, you pervert!" Kurenai screamed while she smacked the living daylights out of him and stalked off.  

            _Damn, Ayana chan is taking a long time in the bathroom.  I better go see what's up…_Sakura thought to herself as she departed from the group of perverts.  Sasuke watched her walk off, and then…out of the blue, his "Itachi senses" started tingling.  He looked up at the ceiling and then stared off to the left.  Everyone stopped their conversation and stared at the Uchiha who was staring off in space.  Neji activated his byakugan and looked in the direction Sasuke was staring.

            "It's him…" Neji stated solemnly.  Kakashi's eye turned into a slit as he sank low to the ground in a battle stance. 

            "Who is it?" Naruto asked with his eyes closed.

            "Itachi…my brother." Sasuke answered.

Chewbecky: *dodges the vegetation being thrown* I know, I know!!  It's somewhat of a cliffhanger…

Kakashi: *arches an eyebrow* Either it is, or it isn't.  There is no in between.

Chewbecky: *sighs* Okay, it IS!!  Are you happy now!?

Kakashi: *in a flat voice* Very.

Chewbecky:  Oh, yeah!  "Hammer" is supposed to be cologne.  I was gonna put "Axe" but I then I changed my mind to something that didn't exist.  Okay then, please read and review!!


	6. So this is how it is?

Chewbecky: I'm feeling extremely giddy and excited right about now!!

Kakashi: *in pure awe* Why?

Chewbecky: *shocked he doesn't know why* BECUZ!!  Many strange things will be happening in this chapter!! Many I SAY!!!

Kakashi: *cowers in a corner* umm…okay.

Chewbecky: I don't own Naruto…oh NO!! NOT ME! Kishimoto Masashi OWNS IT ALL!! MWAHAHAHAHEHEHEHI*GASP*HIHIHIHAHAHAHAEHEHEHEHE!

Chapter 6: So this is how it is?

            Kisame, Tammy, and Itachi have just entered the grocery store.  (Evil ppl need groceries, too)  Kisame is pushing the basket, while reading the latest tabloid magazine.  Tammy is throwing in random things because the posters say that they're on sale.  Itachi is going over his own personal shopping list, checking off each item as he retrieves it and placing it in the basket.  The evil trio turn on the aisle down the opposite end that the 'good guys' just happen to be standing on…but they don't seem to notice.  They don't seem to notice the evil glares that both Neji and Sasuke are giving off, and they don't even seem to notice the ridiculous battle stance that Naruto and Kakashi are posing in.  They don't even notice the band that's standing in the back, singing "I wanna rocks…mune ni rocks!!"  Finally, Itachi seems to notice…that…his favorite cereal (Frooty-o's) isn't on sale, and the regular price is… (dun, dun, DUN!!) $3.69!!!

            "This is OUTRAGEOUS!!  A friggin twenty ounce box of cereal is nearly five bucks!?"  Itachi murmurs more curses under his breath as he angrily throws the cereal in the basket.  Meanwhile, the good guys are still glaring and posing.  Naruto and Kakashi are glaring now, too because they're starting to get cramps and their awesome pose is going unnoticed.

            "Hey, what are you guys doing…?" I ask as I round the corner with Sakura to see Neji and team 7, sans Sakura, standing in ridiculous poses with a fan making a melodramatic breeze blow their hair around.  Itachi, then, looks straight at me.  I watch his hand go down to the holster on his thigh and pull out a shuriken.  Without a word, and with the speed of light, he throws it at me.

            "Damn! Talk about déjà vu…"I murmur to no one in particular.

            "NOOOOO!!!!" Kakashi yells in slow motion, while jumping in the path of the shuriken and pushing me out of the way.  It connects with him and something falls to the floor.  I want to scream, but my voice has left me.  I look up with teary eyes only to see…a gosh darned sexy bishounen face wink at me!!

            "GASP!" just about everyone…well, gasps.

            "Ack!!" Kisame gasps and whispers, "..Scandalous!!" before fainting and falling to the ground.

            "Get the hell out of my way, old man!" Itachi growled at the jounin.

            The silver haired shinobi smiles all sexy like with glitter shining all around his face, and hair.  "If you plan on hurting this girl, you have to get passed me first."

            "*blush* Have it your way!"  With that Itachi charges at the group, but at the last minutes aims for just Kakashi, hitting him with three shuriken.  "Humph, and you call yourself a jounin…"  

            "No, I prefer copy ninja…" A cardboard standee of Kakashi with three shuriken stuck in it hits the floor.

            "Nani, kawarimi!?"

            "No, not just any kawarimi…I like to call it Bootleg kawarimi no jutsu!"

            "Duh!! He only uses it like, every time he fights somebody!"  Tammy said while throwing a value sized box of laundry detergent in the basket.

            "Tammy, not now!"

            "I'm just saying, you're supposed to be like, real shinobis, but every time he uses the kawarimi you act all surprised like he never used it before…"

            "But he just said it was "bootleg kawarimi no jutsu"…" Itachi stated in his defense.

            "She does have a point…" Kisame said while sitting up and reading his tabloid magazine.

            "Hey! Did I ask you, Kisame!?  Why don't you just shut yo gills for once--"

            "Uh-uh Itachi, don't you go there with me!" Kisame said while snaking his neck around and snapping his fingers in a circle.  "I'll slap the sharingans right out of yo' eyes!!"

            "What are you getting mad about?  You DO have friggin' gills for crying' out loud!"  Tammy said while cutting her eyes at the missing mist shinobi.

            "Look, Broke-a-hontas!!  I KNOW that we're not back on the subject of fish again!  I hop you threw in a value sized "Summer's Eve" feminine hygiene kit, for yo stinkin ass!" Kisame said while crossing his arms.

            "Why don't you--" Tammy started, but was cut off by Kisame giving her 'the hand'.  

            "Hush puppy, go back to yo dawg house.  Talk to the hand cuz the face don't wanna hear it!"

            Itachi slouched his shoulders while the two went back and forth.  He shook his head, and then reverted his attention back to Kakashi.  "Next time…Next time, do you hear ME!?"

            "Huh…you say somethin'?"  Kakashi asked, not bothering to look up from his favorite pass time (for those who don't know, its Icha Icha Paradise).

            "I SAID, next time I'll be ready, and no STOOPID kawarimi--"

            "GAWD! I could've SWORE I said it was like BOOTLEG KAWARIMI NO JUTSU!" Kakashi said with a valley girl accent, while rolling his eyes.

            "Tch, like WHATEVER!" Itachi retorted, giving a 'whatever' sign.

            "Eww! Like LOSER!" Kakashi shot back, giving the 'loser' hand sign.

            "Well, next time, no bootleg mess is gonna save yo ass! So bring it!"

            "It's like SO already been BURAWTEN (broughten)!!"

            "Losersayswha!!?"

            "Wha--?" Kakashi said before he could help himself.

            "Muhehehe…Muhehehehehe….Muhehehehehahahahahahaha!"  Itachi cackled while dragging away his two arguing comrades and making a mad dash to the express lane.  The lady told him it had to be 12 items or less, and he had 13.  He mumbled a slew of curse words and went to the next lane.  After checking out he pushed over the rack with the magazines and then ran out…becuz HE"S EVIL, MAN!!

            "OOOOHHHHH!!! I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM!!!" Sasuke screamed while clenching his fists and stomping his foot on the ground.  "He didn't even look at me, or SAY anything to ME at all!!"

            Sakura and I were too busy staring at Kakashi's perfect face to even try to console Sasuke.  Kakashi squatted down and looked me in the eyes, "Are you okay, Ayana chan?"

            "Umm…ye-err I mean NO! OWWW! I think I might have sprained my ankle…" I lied while giving the best innocent eyes I could muster.

            "That's okay, I guess I'll just have to carry you…" he said in an amazingly soft, sexy voice while giving one of those glittery smiles.  I wrapped my arms around the tall jounin's neck while he scooped me up in his arms.  Neji glared at Kakashi and murmured something along the lines of "freaky haired men always get the hotties…" and walked home.  Naruto, in just the plain fact that he is himself, had no reason to mumble.  So he just about screamed in disgust, for the world to hear, about how ages are here for a reason.  Sakura cursed inwardly.  Inside she was having the battle of her life.  _Who's hotter? Neji, Sasuke…or Kakashi sensei…? _But poor, poor Sasuke was having some serious ass inferiority issues (which even I can't understand, so I won't elaborate on those).

At Team 7's residence.

            Kakashi had put a new mask on, as soon as he stepped foot in the house.

            "Damn!" I hissed, mainly at the fact Kakashi had put on another mask.  I could hear Sakura curse her disliking as well.

            "What's wrong…?" Kakashi questioned.

            "I—err…uh…umm…I forgot the rice for dinner tonight!" I lied with the straightest face I could muster.

            "Well, that's okay!" He said while sitting me on the couch.  "We'll just ask the neighbors if we can borrow some."

            "You mean ask the neighbors if we can _have_ some…" I stated.

            "No… I meant _borrow_…"

            "No, there is no way that you can _borrow_ some rice.  You can't give it back after you've used it." I rationalized.

            "No. I am a jounin, I say what I mean and I mean what I say.  I said what I meant when I said it the way that I said…"

            "But--"

            "Shh! Here in Konoha people have to go through everyday situations like everyone else…"

            "…okay…?" I gave him a blank stare; the same kind that his pupils were giving him at the same moment.

            "…The difference between everyday people and shinobi, is that…you have to look underneath the underneath."

            "*five second silence*…What the hell does that have to do with anything!?" I blurt out.

            "Really sensei, you need to think of another saying…" Sakura added.  Sasuke just clicked his tongue and walked away (he's being extra silent because he's still brooding about Itachi not saying a word to him).

            "I think I get what you're saying!  You're going to ask to _borrow_ some rice because eventually you would pay them back, some kind of way.  Maybe not in rice, but in some kind of way.  Therefore, you're not really asking to _borrow_ rice, per se.  You're asking a favor of your neighbor, in which you have every intention of repaying.  So your only saying "can I borrow some rice?" to imply that you do indeed intend to repay them for their kind services."  Naruto thought out loud.

            "Exactly, great job Naruto.  That's the way you look underneath the underneath.  I guess I'll treat YOU to a bowl of ramen one of these days…" Kakashi congratulated his student.  Sakura just shook her head, and took a seat next to me on the couch.

            "What a bunch of--" Kakashi shot me an evil glare before I could finish.  "I meant—uh…yeah, Naruto!  You're such a smart ninja.  Why don't you go and _borrow_ some rice from the neighbors…since, you know, you're so great and all…"

            "Alright!!" Naruto said while he jumped up and down, and before you could say "can I _borrow_ some RAMEN!?" he was out the door.

            Naruto happily ran outside, but stopped at the end of the driveway.  The poor blonde was now confused.  He had a decision to make…which neighbor?  The ones to the left, or to the right? The ones across the street…or the ones behind him?  Since he did just _happen_ to live in a thing called a NEIGHBORHOOD, the possibilities were infinite.  After about ten minutes just standing there, the blue eyed shinobi made a decision.  His decision was…to go…to the…house on the…RIGHT!!  Since he was right handed, it made sense to him, but what makes sense to him doesn't necessarily make sense to others.  So, Naruto happily sped off to the neighbor on his right.  He bounded up the porch steps and knocked on the door.

            "Just a minuuuutttteee…!" a feminine voice inside the house hollered.

            Naruto shuffled his feet, since he has A.D.D. and can't stand still for any length of time.  Finally, the door opened…

            "N-N-Naruto k-k-kun!"

            "HINATA CHAN!?"

Chewbecky: *slap my hands on my cheeks (home alone style)* GASP! AAAHHHHH!!

Kakashi: *arches eyebrow* You've got some serious problems…

Chewbecky: *smirks* Did you figure that out on your own, or did you use your super duper jounin-anbu-sharingan-using ninja skills?

Kakashi: *crosses his arms* EWW! Stop sipping on that HATER-ADE!

Chewbecky: *head bobbles around* Whatever, WHATEVVAAA!!

Kakashi: *turns to the audience* Since she is bipolar, and hasn't taken her medication today…I just wanna say…Please read and review!!


	7. Oh no, not that jutsu!

Chewbecky:  bowing so hard my head is one with the floor  I am soooooooo sorry!!

Kakashi:  shakes his head  And just where have you been ALL these WEEKS!?

Chewbecky:  Well actually, it's a very sad story…

Kakashi:  uh huh, we're waiting.

Chewbecky:  well, uh….I'll tell it at the end of the chapter because I don't want to mess up the mood of the story.

Kakashi:  pssht…whatever…

Chewbecky:  I don't own Naruto.  It was created by the talented Mr. Masashi Kishimoto.

            _In front of Naruto's neighbor's house, there stood Hinata in the doorway… _

            "Hinata chan!?  You live here!?"  Naruto asked loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.

            "H-hai Naruto kun, I moved in the same week you moved in your house."

Poor Naruto couldn't remember back that far, so he just stood there with his infamous fox face in place.  After about three minutes of silence Hinata shifted her weight to her other foot.  "So, Naruto kun, what brings you over here?"

            "Huh…Oh yeah!  Could I borrow some rice?"

            "Sure you can HAVE some rice, Naruto kun!" Hinata cheered while she walked back into the house to get the rice.  She was back at the doorway in less than a minute with a glad tupperware bowl full of rice.  The white eyed girl handed the blonde shinobi the bowl, and stood there in another moment of awkward silence.

            Since Naruto was now over the shock of knowing Hinata was his neighbor, he began to notice how much she had changed over the years.  Her dark hair was pulled into a low bun hanging on the nape of her neck, and her bangs framed her face and fell down a bit past her shoulders.  It must've been laundry day because she was wearing a wife beater, some sweatpants and sweat socks with house shoes on.  The Hyuuga girl had gotten a bit taller as well, and had filled out in the chest and hip area.

            Naruto wasn't the only one checking someone out.  Hinata was getting in eyeful as well.  Since she had been a bit more observant over the years the changes in Naruto were more subtle.  His shoulders had broadened, and his muscles were more developed.  His eyes were the same ocean blue they had always been, but his hair seemed even more sun shiny blonde. 

They day could've went on like this forever for the two shinobi if they weren't interrupted by….dun dun dun!!!  NEJI and KIBA!  Kiba had just come down the stairs to see Naruto staring Hinata up and down.  Needless to say, Kiba didn't like what he saw.  One could say he was very possessive over the Hyuuga girl, not because she was his girlfriend or anything, but because they had been on the same team for years…and…all the life threatening missions they had been on together….and…emotions…Oh GAWD the emotions and feelings they had for one another!  Neji, on the other hand, just happened to live across the street and came outside to check the mailbox.  With his super eyesight bloodline limit ability, not that he needed all that to look just across the street, he saw Naruto gawking at his cousin.  Now Neji and Hinata were not the best of friends, but by him being a Hyuuga and Hinata being a Hyuuga, Neji thought that not just any average Joe would do for HIS cousin who just happened to be the Hyuuga heiress.  Oh no, he won't having none of that!   Needless to say, Neji was not a happy byaakugan-bloodline-limit-ability-having Hyuuga!

            "What the hell!!?" both Neji and Kiba seemed to growl as if on cue.

Naruto and Hinata, once pulled out of their trances, realized that they were surrounded.  Neji stood behind Naruto with his hands crossed across his chest.  Kiba stood behind Hinata with both of his hands clenched in tight fists.

            "Eh heh heh heh…Neji niisan…Kiba kun…what brings you here?"  Hinata asked while trying to will herself under a rock.  She had been a predicament like this once before.  Yes, now that Hinata is grown, she has found an unknown source of self confidence.  And if that's not enough, she's the Hyuuga heiress and lots of men have been trying to get with her for one reason or another.  That poor, poor man who tried to hit on her had won himself a one way ticket…to the MOON!  Courtesy of Neji and Kiba.  The Hyuuga heiress was now worried for the poor blonde love of her life, who had done nothing but ask for some rice.

            "Naruto!" Neji shouted while pointing wildly at him, "How dare you!?  Have you lost your mind, MAN!!?"

            "N-n-nani!?" Naruto squeaked.  He was starting to feel uncomfortable.  I bet you would to if you were the meeting point of two death glares.

            "We saw you trying to check out Hinata!" Kiba added his two cents.

            "Nobody checks out MY cousin!"

            "Well your cousin is pretty damn hot…You should be honored." Naruto said while winking at Hinata.  She blushed, and it didn't go unnoticed.  In fact, it triggered uncontrollable rage in both Kiba and Neji who had dubbed themselves sworn protectors of the heiress's purity.  Kiba seemed to be a little more out of control than Neji was, and had already begun to summon up ALL of his chakra.  There was SO much it was crackling and booming all around Kiba and making noises like this:

Kiba's chakra:  BOOM!! CRACK-A-LACK! CRACKLE-ACKLE-ACK! BOOM!! SPIKKY SPARK! CRACKLY CRACKLE LACK! BOOM! SPACK SPARKY SPICK!! HOT CHAKRA, HOT CHAKRA! BOOM SHAKA LAKA!!

Naruto wasn't the only one fearing for his life.  Neji was as well, he had never seen Kiba lose control like this.  Hinata had long since ran into the house and watched from the window with the cordless phone in her hand just in case she had to make an emergency phone call.

            "This is it!!" Kiba yelled while doing a million seals a minute, "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"  A fog machine appeared and did its job of making things less visible.  Behind Hinata's house a huge beast with white glowing eyes made his way to the three boys.  The fog seemed to clear slightly and red fur could be seen on the beast.

            "Is that A-a-akamaru…!?" Neji asked no one in particular.

            "No!" Naruto said while just about all of the fog cleared, "GASP!  It's…It's…CLIFFORD!"

Chewbecky:  Yes, I know its evil to be gone for so long and end this with a cliff hanger!! Mwahahahahahahaha!!

Kakashi: who cares about that!? What about what happened to you all this time?

Chewbecky: Well, the truth is that I have been mourning all of this time.  You see, I lost both of my beloved pets in a matter of ten days.  First my dog Marley who I had had for about 15 years had gotten arthritis and her muscles had started to deteriorate and were all jelly like.  The vet told me that they could do the surgery, but since she was so old she probably wouldn't live long enough for her body to heal, so we had to put her to sleep. I cried a frickin' ocean for like three days straight.   Next was my cat Tama who I had had for 6 years.  I don't know exactly what happened, but I believe that she might have gotten hold of some D-con or something.  One day she was outside and was playing with this dead mouse, so I took it and threw it away because it was pretty nasty.  Later that night, she hid herself from everybody which is so unlike her because she loves people.  So at first I thought maybe some high school kids kicked her something since it was during spring break.  At around 1 a.m. she had crawled to my bedroom and so I sat with her on my lap and was petting her.  She started convulsing and I didn't know what to do because I was home alone and had no car.  Then she threw up this clear stuff and she was kicking her legs and then she died.  Let me tell you, anyone who has a pet can understand what I have been through, I have never cried so hard in my life.  One day I had two adorable loving pets and the next day I have nothing.  So that's why I have been gone so long.  Please forgive me.


	8. Chapter 8

Kakashi::pointing a waivering finger:: Y-you...? You're back...from the dead!?

Chewbecky: Um, not quite...

Kakashi::straightening up:: Where the hell have you been!!? Do you know how long you've kept everyone and myself waiting!?

Chewbecky: I would guess a couple years...

Kakashi::death glare::

Chewbecky::patting his head:: I missed you too, baby. Now on with the story...

Disclaimer: I dont own any kind of anything having to do with Naruto, other than this fanfic.

Chapter 8: Lost Dog

"What the fuck!?" Neji snapped, "Kiba, have you lost you're freaking mind!?"

"No one talks about Hinata chan like that in my presence!" Kiba growled, chakra still snap, cracklin' and poppin' around him.

"Kiba, man come on. Is that even you're dog?" Naruto chided.

"...Well, not exactly..."

"So you stole it...?" Neji commented flatly.

"NO! I found him...wandering around...all alone in this cruel world without a friend to care for him!" Kiba desparately tried to defend himself.

...------...FlAsHbAcK...-------...

(about 3 days ago)

Kiba was walking around, thinking about the one and only love of his life, Hinata. He vowed to himself that he would forever defend and protect her pure, innocent beauty. Poor Kiba had a liking for this girl ever since their academy days, but ever since he realized that they could never be together because of his un-noble geneology he told himself he would forever protect her from the evil impurities of the world.

He was deep in his thoughts when he stumbled across a rather large dog so big a blind man could have avoided the collision Kiba experienced with ease.

"Damn, you're a big ass dog..." Kiba dusted himself off. "Are you lost boy, huh?"

Clifford just gave him a stupid look. _Humans are so ignorant, as if I could say "yes"._

"Hmmm...says your name is Clifford..." Kiba was obviously reading the dog's collar. "You're owner must be worried sick about you."

Clifford crossed his arms and shook his head no. _Take me home bitch, Im hungry as hell._

Kiba patted Cliffords head. Clifford wagged his tail in response.

"I guess it would be okay if you stayed with me, just untl I can find your owner" Kiba said, thinking out loud.

They both walked off into the sunset, conteplating their future together.

Clifford snickered, _oh boy, this is a real catch. Even dumber than that Emily Elizabeth..._

...--------EnD oF fLaShBaCk---------...

"Wait, wait, wait. You JUST found this dog a COUPLE days ago...?" Neji glared at him.

"Well, yeah...Didn't you just watch the flashback?"

"Dude, that is so wrong. You didn't even try to find his owner did you?" Naruto added his two cents.

"Well, actually, I was on my way to put up flyers that Hinata chan and I made together UNTIL I saw YOU defiling her with your eyes!" Kiba spat the last part out, pointing at Naruto.

Naruto and Neji both glanced behind Kiba to see a sad looking stack of flyers scattered on the front porch.

"Seriously, what is that, like five flyers...?" Neji mumbled while mentally counting the flyers.

"Man...you're just evil..." Naruto commented.

"K-K-Kiba kun...?"

Everyone's sight was set on Hinata in the doorway. She was clutching the cordless phone to her chest.

"You promised...you.promised.me...!" She cried out while running back into the house.

"No, Hinata wait!! I was gonna make copies, I swear!!!" Kiba yelled running after her.

Neji and Naruto just stared at eachother, then looked at Clifford.

"I guess I'll take you home..." Neji sideglanced a clueless looking Naruto, "since I don't have much of a choice."

The Hyuuga walked off down the street with the twenty foot, red dog in tow.

"What a bunch of weirdos..." Naruto mumbled to himself, walking back home with the rice.

Chewbecky: Wow, it feels strange to be writing again.

Kakashi: I bet it does...after such a long, long, long...long--

Chewbecky: Okay!! I get it, I was gone for a damn long time!

Kakashi: Just as long as you understand.

Chewbecky: Its not like I was intentionally neglecting you...

Kakashi: I know baby...I know you can't resist this copy ninja...

Chewbecky: On that note, please review ppl!


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